Now you can improve your relationships almost immediately without compromising your self-respect or the agreement with your partner. Even if your relationships have already disintegrated and fallen apart because of the high level of conflict, there is still a chance for success!
The best part is that other people in your life don’t have to change! You don’t have to ask anyone to do things, they will do them because you are prompting them to do so!
"My brother, after being married twice, got into this huge fight with his new wife and she was gone next day…..we could not help his sorrow at realizing how lonely he was. But, he always wanted to have the last word, in this case to the mirror. Such a pity he would not accept to change the way he understood how relationships work. Finally, he ended up with a serious heartbreak".
Now you can improve your relationships almost immediately without compromising your self-respect or the agreement with your partner. Even if your relationships have already disintegrated and fallen apart because of the high level of conflict, there is still a chance for success!
So, you think now that the other person will not agree to work with you in repairing the relationship? Well, don’t worry about that any longer! You need two to have a dispute, but to repair your relationship, you need only one — YOU.
What you have been doing up until now has composed the problem, and hurt people around you, without you knowing what was the effect of your behavior. Your partner will only exhibit the best part of him/herself, once you stop doing things they can perceive as fighting and quarrelling, and begin offering positive framing’s where they can feel happy and satisfied.
When frustration builds up, we don’t know better than to escalate by being angry, oppositional and violent. WE WANT TO BE RIGHT! But, demanding, challenging and requesting that the other changes first, is a dead end.
“After eight years of living together, we were at odds end; I was closed and distant and she was acting really depressed. I could not trust that she would listen to me, and she was acting more and more scared of me…..But the idea of separation was even worse. Getting some help was not easy, because for my friends, leaving her was a slam dunk decision. I had to look around and find some help with my way of framing my thoughts in my conversations with her, in the Positive Conflicts Electronic Book. What a difference it made! At last, both had some hope that we could communicate at a more personal level, and she began trusting me, and opening up what was her disappointment with me.”
Consequently, if you stop nagging, reacting with rage and frustration and change your behaviors into POSITIVE CONFLICT NOW, your partner will automatically react differently. There is a simple, yet effective, process to manage disputes even before they appear.
This is something different – REALLY different. This is something that you probably haven’t even thought of yet.
It puts your usual ideas about how to resolve conflict in a different light, and teaches you guerrilla tactics to identify and build on the positive aspects of the relationship and avoid escalating negative confrontations.
Here is Jim’s real story: “I had been waiting to have a good relationship the last fifteen years, dating different women, when I met Isabella. She was different, and blew my heart away from the beginning. But we fought a lot, and while I tried my best to be always calm and reasonable, she began seeing me as uncaring and selfish. I was pretty desperate, trying to convince her of my love and getting systematically rejected. As much as I tried, she would not even accept to talk to me about us, and our relationship! She decided to close me out of her life and feelings, and I was completely crushed, but at the same… Read more…
